Scar Face

Just as entitled, this is me relating the story behind my scarred face...

Saturday was an absolutely beautiful day. There was a slight warm breeze to accompany the strong rays of sunshine. It was probably the best weather we've had all year! The spectacular weather sparked Tzin Wei to organise a group "picnic" to Spencer Park where there's a beach volleyball sand pit. I say "picnic" because when we got there, no food was in sight except for a bottle of coke sitting on the picnic table and the fruits and juice that what we brought. Uh huh... "picnic" eh?

The weather didn't look too good on our ride out there - dark clouds had gathered, blocking the sun and the breeze had become slightly chilly. We turned up later than expected because somehow we managed to miss the turning into the park (although the signs were very clear... thank you Christchurch City Council - haha!) and drove straight down the road heading somewhere towards the beach which ended up taking us in circles. It also didn't help that there was no network coverage so we couldn't contact the rest and they couldn't contact us. Actually, Ronald's phone (Sony Ericsson) had coverage but everyone else has a Nokia so that proved to be of no help either. Bleh! Says something about Nokia eh? :þ~

Anyhow, we had a lovely Saturday afternoon playing beach volleyball, eating and just fooling around. Pictures can say a thousand words so I shall zip-it for now and let you all enjoy the photos... More will be placed on the photo section at a later date.

So why "scar face"? See those monkey-ring-things that Tzin Wei and Seng are playing on? Can't really remember what was going through my mind at the time but I thought i'd give it a go. So I climbed the side pillar and grabbed onto the first ring with my right hand. After pausing for a while to talk myself into doing it, I pushed off the pillar with my feet and reached out for the second ring with my left hand. I couldn't reach it as somehow it was swinging away from me. Meanwhile, my right hand was slipping from the first ring. Next thing I know, I was falling through the air, managed to touch the ground initially with my right foot but turned and fell sideways into the bark on the ground. *KaPLeUk*!

My intial thought was... "Oh shit! What have I done?!". With my eyes tightly squeezed, I tried moving both my ankles, then my wrists. *pHeW*! Nothing broken. Next thing, I tried to calm myself down - mainly to stop myself from crying I think, which from past experiences is my automatic reaction when i'm in shock. Which reminds me of what Mark told me the other day... I'm like my favourite fruit... Hard and sharp on the outside but soft and creamy on the inside! Hehe! Can you guess the fruit? Hmmm... So anyway, I may have embarrassed myself with the fall but thank goodness there were no tears!

After I opened my eyes, I saw people looking down at me. My main concern was... "Is there any blood?" I think I must have asked the same question at least 5 times. There's one thing about me that most of my friends know, i'm seriously scared of blood. If someone were to injure themselves, i'd look to see if they were alright but if there was any blood, i'd immediately turn away. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I get all squirmish when I see blood. If i'm bleeding myself... OMG! Total panic! Hehe! Good thing there was no blood then, just scratches on the left side of my forehead and around my eye. No biggie! The fall was really scary though. I still managed to put on a smile after I got cleaned up although it was stinging like hell! :þ~

We left the park soon after to have dinner at Great Wall. It's under new management. The food seems to be just as nice though. A few of you realised that I fell unusually quiet over dinner. Perhaps I was still in shock? Maybe? But more so, it made me think of what would have happened had I died? I don't mean to be morbid, but so what if I had? I guess, a lot of things would have been left unsaid which may or may not be a good thing.

I had trouble sleeping that night. I thought of everything that has happened these past few years. I looked back on old photos which I have isolated. I searched for new ones and was saddened by them. I thought I was doing fine, I thought I was getting there. But that day, I realised that although I had taken one step forward, I had also taken ten steps back. I need to keep them buried. I'm not ready to dig things up again.

This smile of mine that I wear, it's not one of happiness but rather, one of hope. Hope for better things to come. Hope that I will find true happiness again. Hope that i'll live on. Whoever said that hope can cause more pain, well maybe that's true but none of us can live without it because without hope, who knows? I may have landed differently and I may not have seen today.