Being an "asian"...

I know my skin is tanned... My eyes are probably not as big as the Europeans. My hair is dark. Yes, i'm vertically challenged too. So what? I'm classified an "asian"?

I'd like to say that i'm a MALAYSIAN! English is amongst many other languages and dialects that we can speak, read and write. I probably look like every other dark haired person walking around... But that doesn't give you the right to form a generalisation that all of us can't speak, read and write english.

And what's with the classification of "asian"? Seriously. Up to a point, it's degrading and it makes life so much harder! I've lived in New Zealand for almost 17 years now. When I first came, there were definitely fewer non-Europeans and the classic racist comment was "ching chong" amongst others... I endured a lot, and at 5 1/2 years old, I couldn't understand why. 17 years later... you see so many around and I suppose, the racism remarks aren't as bad but we're now classified under "asian" and given "special attention".

What do I mean by "special attention"? Take for example today, when I was speaking to the secretary of a department to which I required special approval from. Wow! Talk about an interrogation. Sure, I know i'm "asian". So you automatically think I can't write an essay with the right grammar and spelling in english? Hah! Go to hell! You only have to go to the library to see my LAWS essay filed there! Can't you tell by the way I speak to you that I can speak english fluently?! OMG~!

I think the lady felt really bad after when she finally realised who I was.

Me: "Ah... So you're J***... My Father has talked a lot about you."

J***: "Mabel... Mabel... Yes... Mabel... Roy... Stephen... I didn't recognise you. Oh yes, I like your Father..." *turns to another lecturer* "Do you know Stephen? He studied here once... He's now a lawyer in Malaysia..."

After that, boy was she nice to me! Personally, I hate using connections to get to places. I don't like to drop names so that the process can be fast-tracked. Proud to say, I stood my ground until after my sheet was signed. She ought to know that she picked on the wrong person to be a b*tch to.

Honestly, some come over here and spoil it for others when they can't speak english and don't want to interact with the ang mo. What's worse is when they refuse to learn how to speak english, let alone read and write. To a certain extent, I can't blame them for not liking the "asians". Why? Sometimes, "asians" don't carry themselves in a well-manner. It's unfortunate and it spoils the "asian" reputation.

I still remember an incident when we were at the Christchurch Casino playing on the black jack table... When an elderly ang mo heard us speaking in english to each other, he asked us where we were from and then remarked about how nice it was to hear us speaking english. The dealer couldn't help herself by agreeing with the man. It was good. It set a much nicer mood at the table and we all had a good time. Hopefully, we changed the man's perspective about "asians" just a little bit. Not all are like that...

On yet another occasion, I was out on one of the evening walks with Mum when we heard a few kids (looked like Pacific-Islanders or of that origin) shouting out, "Hello asians!" OK. Seriously. WTF?! A simple "hello" would do... They could have saved some breath! No, they had to include "asians"?! So we should have replied saying what? "Hello coconuts"? It's so derogatory! I don't suppose we should go around greeting the ang mo like "Hello europeans" everyday? Stupid...

What more, they were KIDS! How do they learn such things? In school? At home? They've been influenced somehow. They're too young to think of such things by themselves without a push from an elder. I think if I was younger and I said such a thing, i'll get slapped or kena the rotan or even worse, the belt buckle! It's just disrespectful! Learn respect!

It's not that i'm not proud to be an asian, it's that i'm not proud to be an "asian" - the way that the ang mo and whoever else term "us" as. There are so many nationalities and races classified under the one heading that's been given to "us". It's ridiculous and it's an unfair generalisation. I will admit that there are times when I don't blame the ang mo for hating "asians". Why? Because there are times when you can see "asians" not behaving themselves in a proper manner with consideration for others, in public.

It's so obvious. The lifestyle in New Zealand is slow paced compared to many other countries around the world. Even the way that New Zealander's drive with regards to the road code illustrates that this country is about having consideration for others with all the give way rules, etc... and about taking it slowly - with the exception of Auckland (will not go into details).

One of the simplest examples of how inconsiderate "asians" can be is by simply looking at a grocery store where you find "asians" crowded around a bin of fruits or whatever, talking as loudly as they can in their mother tongue across to one another, with ang mos waiting patiently behind them wanting to pick some of those fruits. You can't honestly tell me that you can't see them from out the corner of your eye, can you? It's just disgusting when you see such a thing. It may be the way back in their home country, but wake up! You're in New Zealand! Things aren't the same! Grr!!

I could really continue about this subject forever... having had so many experiences being an "asian" in New Zealand. I've seen a lot. I don't think that it's wrong of me to have such a perspective. I don't doubt that many of you will disagree with me on this but think about it yourself, can you really blame them for not liking "us" sometimes? Do you ever wonder why it is that the ang mo are just slightly more apprehensive when it comes to dealing with "us"? Think about it.

All I can say is that, "we" must always remember that "we" are the ones in the foreign land. "We" have (to a certain extent) "intruded" into someone elses country and if "we" continue to behave this way, it's not right. "We" will eventually be hated, if not already. It doesn't matter about how much money "we" bring into this country. It's just not right. I'm sure many ang mo out there have a problem with "us" even if they do not say it aloud. Can you imagine living in a society where most probably each person you see on the street has had a bad incident with an "asian" that it has somehow formed a grudge within them against "us"? It's seriously sad.

If you just open your eyes and open your ears, you'll come to learn of the true feelings of the ang mo and at the end of the day, it's so sad to conclude that, I really can't blame them. Shame on "us". *SiGh*!