Down and under

Once again, it's come to the end of the week. Time seems to be passing rather quickly but I don't seem to be progressing at all. Living day to day is getting rather tiring and meaningless but yet I still haven't found enough answers to set out on my direction in life. Perhaps none of this makes sense to anyone. Sometimes it doesn't really make sense to me either. I realise some of you out there are feeling rather worried about me... I'm sorry but this is just something I need for now.

I decided to have a slow and quiet day today. As usual, I went to support the Ligers Football Club to see them win 4 - 2. Yay! After that, I thought of joining the rest at Ancestral but somehow I ended up driving straight home. I just couldn't find the energy to continue the facade... not today. I wanted time alone. I don't know why. I felt frustrated. I feel like all my efforts continuously go down the drain. My voice was even quivering on the phone. Unbelievable. I guess i'm just feeling tired.

I like this Luther Vandross song called "I'd Rather". Well, mainly the chorus. It's not that i'm love sick (or love deprived) or anything but I just wonder when I will feel so much for someone again. Then again, on reflection, perhaps being so deeply in love isn't a good thing. We just get blinded. Perhaps even i'm getting cynical about love and life. Haha! Does that mean i'm still "allergic"? Haha! Nah... I guess i'm just not willing to be placed anywhere else other than at the top. Anything else just doesn't cut it anymore. So yeah, I guess I miss having someone there for me all the time but I suppose it'll be worse to be in a relationship that made me feel bad about myself. For now, i'm not rushing into anything. Slow and steady... that's the way. My prince will be out there. I'm sure of it. :)

"I'd Rather"
- Luther Vandross

I thought sometime alone
Was what we really needed
You said this time would hurt more than it helps
But I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
Of a beautiful story
And so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone)
And I tried to find
Out if this one thing is true
That I'm nothing without you
I know better now
And I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you,
Than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm,
Than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together,
Than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
Whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah

And then I met someone
And thought she could replace you
We got a long just fine
We wasted time because she was not you
We had a lot of fun
Though we knew we were faking
Love was not impressed with our connection they were all lies, all lies
So I'm here cause I found this one thing is true
That I'm nothing without you
I know better now
And I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you,
Than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm,
Than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together,
Than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
Who holds my heart

I can't blame you if you turn away from me,
Like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
Please be mine

I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you,
Than good times with someone else (I know)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime),
Than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby)
I'd rather have hard times together,
Than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)

I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),
Than good times with someone else (surely)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),
Than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)
I'd rather have hard times together,
Than to have it easy apart (you know it)
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
Whoooo.....who holds my heart