The O.C.

OMG. Marissa dies?! Why?!?! *fAiNt*!

Ok ok. So I may be so outdated with my favourite series but it's because I haven't been able to download it from the Uni hub. Maybe cuz it's such a "chick flick" and no one really wants to admit to watching it. Hehe! Anyway, managed to find a few episodes earlier on today and... OMG. Marissa dies?! Seriously?! *cRiEs*!

I've just been watching the last few episodes of "The O.C.", season 3 where they all graduate from high school, and are in the midst of preparing for college but due to Marissa's early departure, they all bid farewell to their BFF (Best Friend Forever) and then... Marissa dies?! Once again... Marissa dies?! AND there's a season 4?! How is that possible?! Marissa... Like, the hottest cast on the show... DIES?! How does "The O.C." live on? How?! OMG.

Her death wasn't even that dramatic. She could have been shot by the wacko but instead she died in a car accident?! Ha?! The hottest cast... and I still can't get over how there's a season 4? Though I absolutely love watching it but... a season of "The O.C." without Marissa? I have a feeling that it's going to be the last season after all, they're cutting it down to 16 episodes instead of 22. So sad... Really sad... I always hoped that Marissa and Ryan would end up together. So too for Seth and Summer.

Let me now just wallow in my sorrow before hopefully, I find the strength to get out of bed, drink a cup of coffee (maybe head out to McDonalds for breakfast... haven't done that in ages!) and then go to Uni to study. All this happening at 7:30am, yes, AM... in my attempt to get back my "normal" sleeping pattern by staying awake for 32 hours, while studying for exams! Wish me luck ya?

To everyone reading this...
- students: *SiGh* Study hard yea? Just a couple more weeks of perserverance will earn you great rewards~!
- working people: You're less than 10 hours away from relaxing (if you're in NZ anyway). Enjoy your weekend!
- bums: Damn... I wish I could be you right now.

No more people to address, so yeah... HAVE A NICE DAY! :)

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

The year has honestly flown by and yes, EXAMS have hit! Today marked the first day of exams. AHHH!! So while most of you were enjoying your long weekend (*$#%@^!#), us Uni students were busy studying in preparation for exams (@#%^@!$). Have some compassion for us poor little stressed souls~ *sNiFF*! Which is why I just want to wish everyone:

GOOD LUCK FOR EXAMS!!

The writing's red because red means luck right? OMG. I should so wear red to exams! Or maybe I did? You wouldn't know? *WiNk*! Haha! Anyway, wanted to post this last night but didn't have time since I was trying to cram everything into my brain! Hope it pays off. *cRoSSeS FiNGeRs*

One more thing:

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

What bad timing... celebrating hari raya by sitting AFIS 301 exam! You poor things~ But i'm sure you'll have a huge celebration after exams ya? Honestly, an awesome sight seeing the few girls walking to exam in their bright and colourful traditional garments! Hehe!!

Anyway... keep your heads down and... DO YOUR THING! After all, you only waste a year by slacking. Hmmm... I can feel it... Malaysia here I come! MuaHaHaHaHa~!!

Party after exams ya?!

WwwWWwwwWWwhHhHHHheeEEeeEEEeeEEeeeeEEee~!!

Being foolish...

In my anger and frustration, I contemplated expressing my thoughts and emotions in an extremely unruly fashion. However, I will contain myself and I will not allow myself to fall into the trap of no returns because the tongue (and in this case, my fingers) is the most lethal weapon a human being can have. I will not let you conquer me.

What I will say however, is that my perception of people has been harshly transformed as life experiences have taught me to be more cautious. People always have another agenda from what they appear to have. It's reality. We're used and abused and then trashed when we're no longer needed. That's just what life is. We either play the game or we become the biggest loser of them all.

We're meant to learn from our mistakes so as to avoid it from happening again. The thing is, most of the time it's out of our control as to what mistakes we will make because life is such, that we're meant to make the mistakes whenever it is that we're meant to make them. So we learn and then move on with the knowledge and experience to never make the same mistake.

Who can blame me then for being bitter and resentful for what has happened? Nothing is as it seems. Drawing to your own conclusions is all fine and good if that's what helps you sleep at night. But unless you know the whole story, don't judge because you may not want to know the truth.

It would be easy to place blame on others but reality is that things happen for a reason. We cannot be so foolish as to think that we did not play a part to make the outcome of the situation as it is. In essence, it was partly our own fault. We must share the blame. So before pointing at others, I suppose we should stand in front of the mirror and judge ourselves first.

Eyes lie. Our sight would be useless without our brain to interpret what we see. It is the brain and its memory that causes misconceptions. A flawless face is never one without make up or surgery. Nothing in this world is perfect. Nothing. Everything's just a cover up. We end up lying to ourselves.

The worse thing is when you refuse to listen but only choose to hear. Don't ask unless you're willing to listen and accept the truth. Don't live your life being fooled with misinterpretations and misunderstandings when you can get answers. Don't throw away everything because of pride. If you want answers, seek them before it's too late but be willing to listen with an open mind.

When I wake...

*** Note: This post may not be understood by anyone but just let me vent ***

Every morning I wake up, there's nothing but anger and frustrations. There's no way for me to vent because no one understands how I feel. No one. Which is sad. Really sad. I'm sick of feeling this way.

I'm sick of waking up, looking in the mirror, and all I can see is this face which is frowning back at me... heavily burdened, angered and frustrated at my current position. Why am I on this earth for? What is it that i'm supposed to do in my lifetime that God granted me life? What is MY meaning?

I can't wait to finish my degree. In light of everything that has happened, it's a good question whether I will this year or not. I'm only hanging on by the thread... I'm almost at the point of giving up. I'm losing sight at the ultimate goal.

This degree isn't for me. It never was for me. It was me, trying to shut everyone up. Trying to please everyone to make up for the failures, the lost pride, THEIR frustrations and anger. To help THEM feel better about themselves.

In the end, do they even deserve it? Do they even deserve my effort to make them happy? They add to my stress... they neglect my feelings and emotions. So, what the hell?! Do they even deserve all my struggles?

I long for the day that I can finally tell them to shove it up their asses. For them to finally know that what they have done is unfair and absolutely selfish! That the pressure they have placed on me is not right. A person can only be that, just A person... 1... Only ONE... Yet, they don't even realise what they're doing.

I want my freedom. I want to be free from all this bullsh*t. It's all so close yet so far. Can I hang on? Or is it all just too late? Will I have lost yet another year because of their inconsiderate behaviour? Or is it all just my fault? I don't think i'll ever fully forgive them. The grudges I hold are so deep rooted that it may never be possible to remove. So what does all this mean?

Everything we go through in life changes us just that little bit. Every change, be it good or bad, affects our future somehow. The choices we make today affect our tomorrow.

So where does that leave me?

Chong's 12 - 12 BBQ Party

It's been sometime since Chong's 12 - 12 BBQ Party but my internet connection cycle has only just started again so I thought i'd post up a summary. So here goes...

Amongst the usual chicken... beef... Cody's anyone? and... some of Chong's balls? Hehe...



Then er... drinking games? Nik was nicknamed Barney after he drank this... Haha!!




What happens when people are slightly intoxicated?

They forget what race they are...



and become a bit gay...



... then decide to go play badminton to try and execute a "back hand cross court blah blah blah smash". (That's if they can actually hit the shuttle cock) *fAiNt*!



After realising that badminton is not really the best idea since they're finding it rather difficult to see the shuttle cock in the first place... (I wonder why...) What else is there to do but... drink again...




To tame it down for the night... they decide to Singstar! Don't have the videos but will definitely put it on Youtube... of course not the one with me in it la~ Haha...



As a result of Singstar, my specs break... Alfred tries to cellotape it while intoxicated... and I? End up wearing sunglasses! *fAiNt*!



That's pretty much the summary of the party... More photos will be posted after exams... For now, you can view some selected photographs at that Chong and Maurice have placed on their websites. There were 5 cameras at the party... Haha!! Honestly... talk about paparazzi!! *fAiNt*!

I'll just leave you guys with a quote... cuz maybe sometimes, what we wish for is just slightly out of our grasp... and we hurt not only cuz we don't have it... but cuz we convinced ourselves to believe that we could have it...

"Most of our fantasies dissolve when we wake, banished to the back of our minds. But sometimes we're sure, if we try hard enough, we can live the dream. ... Everybody wants a life without pain. Where does it get you? ... Pain's there for a reason ... The reality is that pain is there to tell us something. And there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache and maybe that's OK. Maybe some fantasies are only suppose to live in our dreams."

Grey's Anatomy - Season 3, Episode 3

O.M.G.

Decided to go check out prices for the replacement of my glasses today. Prepared myself for it to set me back around $300 which by NZ standards, would be considered "reasonable", no? So, took a drive to the well-known "OPSM". O-P-S-M... *DiNg* Keke...

Walked into the shop. Saw 3 or 4 staff members with no customers. Not a very good sign. Casually had a look at random frames on display - DKNY, Calvin Klein, etc. All branded. Fine... Had a peak at the prices... $354.00. OMG! The cheapest frame I could find... $254.00 and I don't know what brand they were. OMG! Let's not talk about converting it to RM yet. *fAiNt*!

So I thought... obviously getting a new frame would be out of the question cuz I just need a temporary pair to last me until I go back to Malaysia next year. No problem... i'll just ask them how much it'd cost to replace just the lense...

(Seeing as I was asian, an asian guy came to serve me. @#%&)#$! Bloody racist! I can speak perfectly good english thank you very much! GRR!! OK. Off topic.)

Anyway, so the conversation went like this:

"I've broken one of my lenses and have glued it together for temporary measure. Just wondering how much it'd cost to replace just the lense?"

He KINDLY said it slowly too. "3... 3... 8... 0... (At this moment I was thinking... $33.80... not bad huh?) 0..." WTF?!

I even repeated (as controlled as I could) to clarify... "$338.00 to replace the lense?"

The guy answered, "yeah..." and started ranting about how their lense is made out of some special material (at which point I really couldn't care less).

He continued, "... but since you'll be using your own frame it'll incur a fitting fee of let me see..." (I was thinking, OMG. Gonna be a damn ridiculous price again) "$48.00".

"Uh huh... and what about if I want to test my eyes?"

"Extra $60.00."

*fAiNt* I quickly did a mental calculation - nearly $450.00 to replace the lense! OMG!

"Is there no package deal?"

"No sorry."

"How about student discounts?"

"No sorry. It's just the one price."

"So if i decided to make a completely new pair of glasses, you'll just add the cost of the frame on top of it?"

"Yeah... except you won't be charged for the fitting fee."

Well no shit. OMG! GO DIE OPSM! SERIOUSLY! No wonder you guys have so many bloody stores around NZ. OMG!! What a rip off! So technically if I wanted to get a whole new pair, it'd cost me between $800.00 to $900.00! Try converting it to RM.

Wait... let me do it for you! Based on an exchange rate of 2.3... on the price of $800.00... That'll be... RM1840.00! OMG. Compared to what? Around RM150 - RM200 in Malaysia? Of course not branded la... What the hell man... With that money, I could have purchased the air ticket won at Malam for that price! Or else, I could have almost bought myself a one way ticket back home. Celaka!!

Seriously... Go die OPSM! Why didn't I think of becoming an optometrist... Celaka... @#%)@$#!

Blonde moment...

The story goes like this:

I was studying in the "Dock" tonight when I decided to print some documents and realised that the lights in the corner where the printer sits, were out. So I thought, hmmm... be helpful and turn the lights back on. Can't be that difficult, hoh?

So there I was standing infront of the 3 switches - the first one was in the usual "on" position while the other two were in the usual "off" position. (Note: This all happened within 5 seconds in my mind...) I figured, the room was the size of a tutorial room or maybe bigger - so it was rather big. Surely there couldn't be just one switch to control all the lights in the room. There must be two switches to do that. Which would then mean... that the two switches that were in the usual "off" position must control the general lights in the room right??

Oh what the hell... Just pick one and try it! So I chose the switch which was in the usual "on" position... *Switch the light* and..................................??

DARKNESS!

It took me like 3 seconds to realise that the only lights in the room came from the computer screens! *Switches the light back on* only to see that quite a few people had turned around to see who was the stupid person that had turned off the bloody lights and all start laughing... including my so-called friends who probably laughed the loudest! Celaka you guys!

PAISEH AH!! *fAiNt*! Then I turn to look out the clear doors towards the cafeteria to find my other friend laughing and explaining to the girlfriend what had happened. OMG! Bloody friends... I admit that I was rather *bLuR*. After all, I had been studying for 3 1/2 hours! *mumbles to self*

OK. That was my blonde moment. At the end of the night we realised that Esther had done a similar thing almost a year ago in the "Crypt" when she mistook the light switch for the exit button and switched off the lights in the computer lab! What was funnier was that she was so embarrassed that she ran back towards us to laugh by our sides (at the same time giving everyone the opportunity to have a good look at her) before she decided to leave the room! Haha! Classic moment~ Luckily she was an engineering student on exchange from Singapore... :P

On a different note, haven't been able to get the photos off Chong, Kenneth and Maurice from Saturday's 12 - 12 BBQ party yet and internet's too slow to upload the photos that I have! (GRR!! Damn brother who loves to download stuff... HMPH~!) So i'll have to upload them another day. I must say, it was awesome to see a different side of those that always seem to look so serious when they've had a couple "Cody's". Definitely will be the drink for sometime. Hehe!!

Oh... I broke my glasses... Well actually, HOCK broke my glasses when he decided to use his arm to whack my face as we were Singstar-ing. *stares at Hock* We were kiasu trying to block each other from seeing the tv screen ma... then dunno who decided to throw a blanket over us... Celaka! That's the second pair of glasses i've broken this year - the first was when Mark decided to crush them by standing on them when he drove my car and then now this. *fAiNt*! With exams so soon, i've just glued the broken lense together for temporary measure. Still can see guys... so don't worry. No need to be scared when you see me on the road. MuaHaHaHaHa~!!

Wow. This has actually been a pretty long post but it hasn't ended yet... Soon la! If you don't wanna read, don't read looo... Cheh!! :P

For my dear friend who is on the other side of the world, you will be in my daily prayers and in time, God will strengthen you. There's a special someone out there for each and everyone of us who will love us for all our imperfections and treasure us with all their hearts. And if it is true love, they will forgive our stubborness and wrongdoings to see all the good in us again. Good things take time... and time tells all~

Just would like to end with a quote that I wrote a very long time ago but still so relevant today. "Happiness amongst all things is the key to life... If only you could see how much hurt my heart bares... How my life is clouded with uncertainty and insecurity... Then perhaps you'll be able to understand... What I do... I do for you... With love."

Alright. I'm off to watch Grey's - Season 3, Episode 3. I wonder what lesson is instored for me there... Until next time... Good night everyone~! ZzzZZzZzzzzZZ...

A song...

Just thought i'd wish all of you:

! ~ Happy Mooncake Festival ~ !

No celebration for me this year so therefore, don't expect any photos from today. Thought of taking photos of the night sky last night but the moon, though round, was so tiny cuz it was so far away. :( Decided to stay indoors and just bummed around at home. There's nothing better than being in the comfort of your own home, yea? Maybe...

Going to watch drama soon - PB, GA, OC, DH. Absolutely love them to bits! They have accompanied me for so many months... Sometimes the situations are so real... It's unbelievable.

There are times when words cannot describe one's emotions. There are times when actions speak louder than words. There are also times when there's nothing to say... no actions to make... but just a song that speaks ever so clear.


Hard To Say I'm Sorry
Az Yet

Everybody needs a little time away
I've heard her say
From each other

Even lovers need a holiday oooh
Far away from each other

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to stay
And after all that you've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise you, baby

And after all thats been said and done
You're just the part of me I can't let go

ooooh bup bup bup bup

Couldn't stand to be kept away
Not for a day
From your body
Wouldn't want to be swept away awaaaaaaaay
Far away from the one that I love

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to know
Hold me now
I really want to tell you I'm sorry
I could never let you go

And after all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise you

And after all that's been said and done
You're just a part of me I can't let go

I can't let go.

Farewell girls...

OK... So i've been a lousy friend not turning up to events. It's just too close to exams and I haven't really been studying so i've had to neglect you all. Sorry!! Especially today so... Happy birthday Ronald!! (for 13th October) From Ellen's blog, you guys seemed to have fun... so that's good! :) Damn it... I missed seeing you being thrown in the pond. GRR!! :P

Nursing a terrible headache right now... *SiGh*! So, this won't be a long blog.

Would just like to wish Ellen and Sayaka a safe and pleasant journey back to your respective mother lands! (Ellen to Malaysia and Sayaka to Japan.) It has indeed been an honour knowing you both. Best of luck for the future! Take care and of course, keep in touch! :)

Sayaka's Birthday and Farewell Supper @ Denny's Restaurant
(From Left to Right: Merlye, Anna, Jennifer, Sayaka, Ellen and Mabel)

Alright. That's all from me for now. I feel like my head's going to explode even though i've already taken 3 disprins (the maximum dosage). Will probably head off to bed again. Going shopping later... Yay! Bye!!