Looking back...

Was just reading through the first few posts of my blog from July 2005. Can't help but feel how everything has changed since then. It made me question why I still keep a blog, most importantly, this blog. It's lost its initial purpose. I'm not sure why it's still in existence. It shouldn't be. Maybe it won't be for much longer...

I'm constantly plagued by memories of the past. It's ruling my life and I can't seem to shake it off. I'm torturing myself the best I can to feel the pain and suffering that I put another human being through, and maybe one day, they'll be able to forgive me and allow me to forgive myself. I'm sorry to those who have crossed my paths in recent times who have not had the best of me. Soon... I'll bounce back... Hopefully soon...

I long to be free from all this some day... But for now, I feel like a flightless bird, unable to soar through the air to reach the next destination. I'm stuck in this cold, dark place with no where to go for warmth. Every where I go, memories seem to turn something sweet, sour. I'm living from day to day, still waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel...

Heaven Knows

Rick Price

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up
'Til I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know

Though she's so far away
It just keeps getting stronger
Everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on

So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Chorus:
Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find their way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in kind
I'll know she's mine

But tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Chorus

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all the times I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so...

Chorus

Heaven knows...
Heaven knows...

Christmas in the Park

Attended Christmas in the Park earlier this evening. It's been 2 years since I attended this event. Was rather apprehensive in attending it, but had my friends there to support me. Thank you all.

Don't have too much to say about it. Tried to enjoy it as best I could. At the end of it all, perhaps those who didn't attend the event made the right choice. I don't know. All I will say is that, it's a couple thing...

Anyway, here are some of the photos:


From left to right: Robin, Mabel, Esther, Wilson, Hock & Sophia

The Burnside girls of 2002 reunite~! Haha...


From left to right: Mabel, Esther & Sophia

Because we arrived late, the only place to fit all of us was... behind the rubbish bins! *PuKe*! We had extra friends tonight - flies and mosquitos! Ew! :þ~



Of course, the poker set had to accompany us but ended up playing chor tai ti. Why? There were little kids right next to us. We didn't want to introduce them to the dark side of gambling. Haha!!



An attempt to photograph the group that attended the event. Unfortunately missing a few people, namely Andrew (at the lost kids tent - long story), Esther (on the phone with Andrew), Seng Cheong (who was being moody), Ronald (photographer) & Wilson (who was accidentally left out of the frame). Leaving:


From left to right: Kathryn, Robin, Lily, Hui Lin, Mabel, Hock, Ben Yong, Sophia & Hui Min

Soon after... the fireworks began! Yay!! :) Not the best pictures in the world but... the best my camera could do. Hey, it's a good camera... just not as good as those huge fat ones. :þ~ No love heart shaped fireworks. :( But it was quite a long display of fireworks. Don't know how much it was worth eh...



After half an hour to get to the car, we ended the evening by having bubble tea at none other than, Ancestral. Decided to call it a night because I was so tired. Now, i'm going to watch "Two and a Half Men" and then sleep. Good night!

UCBC Committee Dinner

Here it is... the UCBC (University of Canterbury Badminton Club) committee that served you for the past year... the committee of 2006:


From left to right: Seng Cheong Ng, Sean Chin, Gerald Chang (Secretary), Mark Hii, Nik Syen Jien, Anthony Chiew (President), Mabel Tan (Treasurer)

The picture was taken at the committee dinner which was held on Wednesday evening at Chopsticks. What did we eat? Hmmm... Check it out:








and... drinks?



This is what happens when the boys are allowed to decide on the menu - they order too much and of course, NO VEGETABLES which was one of two special requests I made. Grr!! Obviously I was out voted... 6:1. Terrible ratio but I survived. At the end of the night, this was my vegetables:



Left overs of the vegetables used as presentation for the dishes! *cRiEs*!

What did some of us look like after the dinner?

Mark, admitting he was so full that it was the best time to go home and sleep. Haha!



Hock, trying to show us his abs still exist even though his stomach was full of food. Show off! :P



Nik, not as daring as Hock to lift up his shirt but still trying to suck it in! Where are the abs? Cheh~!



and... Cheong, what can I say? He literally "chiak chor". See the bottle of vinegar being held up by Yang? Haha!! Gotcha~



After the dinner, we went to Coffee Culture to meet up with the rest. Brought Sophia along too~



Had an ice chocolate. Yummy~



Then, what did we do? It was like old times, with only 1 1/2 hours to spare before Sophia's midnight curfew (Cinderella... Hehe!! She almost turned into a pumpkin. :P), the boys drove up Cashmere Hill. While they smoked, us girls took photos! Haha!!



After that, majority of us went home... the rest, POKER! Haha!! That was our, Wednesday night. Good, clean, fun. That's what we like... Keep smiling guys! Laterz...

A song...

Nobody knows it but me
- Babyface

Wish i had told her how I felt
Maybe she'd be here right now

But instead...

I pretend that i'm glad you went away
These four walls close in more everyday
And i'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Hmmm yeah

Like a clown I put on a show
Paint it real even if nobody knows
And i'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Yeah hmmm

Why didnt I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumbling down
I can say it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And i'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me
Mmm yeah mmm yeah yeah

I carry a smile when i'm broken in two
And i'm nobody without someone like you
I'm trembling inside
And nobody knows it but me
Yeah yeah mmm

I lie awake it's a quarter past 3
I'd scream it at night if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is calling you
And nobody knows it but me
Baby

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say
Just how I feel
A million years from now you know
I'll be loving you still

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And i'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me
Yeah yeah ooo
Yeah ay
Ooo

Nobody, nobody but me
Tomorrow morning i'm hitting the dusty road
Gonna find you whereever ever you might go
And i'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Yeah yeah

Said when the nights are lonely
And the days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And i'm missing you (I'm missing you)
And nobody knows it but me (Yeah yeah...)

Meeee...

The nights are lonely (Since you've been gone away)
The days are so sad (Said i've been missing you baby)
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had (I always thought you'd be right by my side)
And i'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me (Nobody knows it... Nobody but me)

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And... I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And i'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

Friends...

Recent events have caused me to wonder of the definition of a true friendship. Some people yearn for a multitude of friends while others only accept a few. Some choose not to distinguish between friendship and acquaintances.

I have my personal views, but I believe that the following famous quote sums it up the best:

"Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends."

Think about it and then ask yourself, where have you been when your "friend" needed you the most? Do you even deserve to be called their "friend"? If they died tomorrow, would you have any regrets?

What's the point of having so many friends when in times of need, they're no where to be seen. After everything that has happened, I expected you to be there. You may not have understood what was going on, but you could have at least showed you cared.

Where were you? Did I mean so little to you that you left me out in the cold to fend for myself? What kind of person are you to turn your back on me? Am I just another human being to you? I'll answer that. You're heartless and uncaring. So everyone else who thinks otherwise of you are FOOLS! God... Stop lying to me... Worse still, stop lying to yourself!

You know who you are. I know you read my blog. You're no friend of mine. Maybe you were once, but you're not now. You haven't earned the honour of calling yourself that. Do I hate you? Right now, very much so. You managed to steer it in that direction. You have no one else to thank, but yourself. Congratulations.

Tears of the Sun

After arriving home from the evening walk, decided to relax for the remainder of the night by sitting down writing out my notes in front of the TV when the movie, "Tears of the Sun" started.

I remembered that I had actually watched the movie probably a year ago now but me being me, the storyline of a movie is only ever stored in my short term memory. Hmmm...

For those of you who don't know me very well, I usually fall asleep during movies? That's when i'm watching it at home... It's not that the movie is boring, it's just that when I sit still or worse, lie down, I tend to fall asleep... Hehe... *PaiSeH*! I like to be active la! Gimme a break~ :(

So anyway, watched it for a second time. It's an awesome movie - good actors, very powerful scenes, and an enticing story line. It's not a new movie... Was released in 2003. Definitely a movie to watch if you haven't done so already.

Loved the quote shown at the end:

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"

- Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

I guess that says it all...

Oh... and no, I didn't go to the Casino. *pHeW*! Saved myself some money... OR... on the other hand, I could have won some? Ah... Bet you didn't think about it that way eh? *DiNg* *DiNg* *DiNg*! Hehe... Mr Cashman... Oh how I miss Mr Cashman... Hehe!! Black Jack's good too... If there isn't too many people. Less pressure. It's always so much pressure when people bet behind you as well... *StaRe*! Keke!! :P

OK. That's all from me for now. Going for my evening walk soon again... Chao peeps! :)

Being an "asian"...

I know my skin is tanned... My eyes are probably not as big as the Europeans. My hair is dark. Yes, i'm vertically challenged too. So what? I'm classified an "asian"?

I'd like to say that i'm a MALAYSIAN! English is amongst many other languages and dialects that we can speak, read and write. I probably look like every other dark haired person walking around... But that doesn't give you the right to form a generalisation that all of us can't speak, read and write english.

And what's with the classification of "asian"? Seriously. Up to a point, it's degrading and it makes life so much harder! I've lived in New Zealand for almost 17 years now. When I first came, there were definitely fewer non-Europeans and the classic racist comment was "ching chong" amongst others... I endured a lot, and at 5 1/2 years old, I couldn't understand why. 17 years later... you see so many around and I suppose, the racism remarks aren't as bad but we're now classified under "asian" and given "special attention".

What do I mean by "special attention"? Take for example today, when I was speaking to the secretary of a department to which I required special approval from. Wow! Talk about an interrogation. Sure, I know i'm "asian". So you automatically think I can't write an essay with the right grammar and spelling in english? Hah! Go to hell! You only have to go to the library to see my LAWS essay filed there! Can't you tell by the way I speak to you that I can speak english fluently?! OMG~!

I think the lady felt really bad after when she finally realised who I was.

Me: "Ah... So you're J***... My Father has talked a lot about you."

J***: "Mabel... Mabel... Yes... Mabel... Roy... Stephen... I didn't recognise you. Oh yes, I like your Father..." *turns to another lecturer* "Do you know Stephen? He studied here once... He's now a lawyer in Malaysia..."

After that, boy was she nice to me! Personally, I hate using connections to get to places. I don't like to drop names so that the process can be fast-tracked. Proud to say, I stood my ground until after my sheet was signed. She ought to know that she picked on the wrong person to be a b*tch to.

Honestly, some come over here and spoil it for others when they can't speak english and don't want to interact with the ang mo. What's worse is when they refuse to learn how to speak english, let alone read and write. To a certain extent, I can't blame them for not liking the "asians". Why? Sometimes, "asians" don't carry themselves in a well-manner. It's unfortunate and it spoils the "asian" reputation.

I still remember an incident when we were at the Christchurch Casino playing on the black jack table... When an elderly ang mo heard us speaking in english to each other, he asked us where we were from and then remarked about how nice it was to hear us speaking english. The dealer couldn't help herself by agreeing with the man. It was good. It set a much nicer mood at the table and we all had a good time. Hopefully, we changed the man's perspective about "asians" just a little bit. Not all are like that...

On yet another occasion, I was out on one of the evening walks with Mum when we heard a few kids (looked like Pacific-Islanders or of that origin) shouting out, "Hello asians!" OK. Seriously. WTF?! A simple "hello" would do... They could have saved some breath! No, they had to include "asians"?! So we should have replied saying what? "Hello coconuts"? It's so derogatory! I don't suppose we should go around greeting the ang mo like "Hello europeans" everyday? Stupid...

What more, they were KIDS! How do they learn such things? In school? At home? They've been influenced somehow. They're too young to think of such things by themselves without a push from an elder. I think if I was younger and I said such a thing, i'll get slapped or kena the rotan or even worse, the belt buckle! It's just disrespectful! Learn respect!

It's not that i'm not proud to be an asian, it's that i'm not proud to be an "asian" - the way that the ang mo and whoever else term "us" as. There are so many nationalities and races classified under the one heading that's been given to "us". It's ridiculous and it's an unfair generalisation. I will admit that there are times when I don't blame the ang mo for hating "asians". Why? Because there are times when you can see "asians" not behaving themselves in a proper manner with consideration for others, in public.

It's so obvious. The lifestyle in New Zealand is slow paced compared to many other countries around the world. Even the way that New Zealander's drive with regards to the road code illustrates that this country is about having consideration for others with all the give way rules, etc... and about taking it slowly - with the exception of Auckland (will not go into details).

One of the simplest examples of how inconsiderate "asians" can be is by simply looking at a grocery store where you find "asians" crowded around a bin of fruits or whatever, talking as loudly as they can in their mother tongue across to one another, with ang mos waiting patiently behind them wanting to pick some of those fruits. You can't honestly tell me that you can't see them from out the corner of your eye, can you? It's just disgusting when you see such a thing. It may be the way back in their home country, but wake up! You're in New Zealand! Things aren't the same! Grr!!

I could really continue about this subject forever... having had so many experiences being an "asian" in New Zealand. I've seen a lot. I don't think that it's wrong of me to have such a perspective. I don't doubt that many of you will disagree with me on this but think about it yourself, can you really blame them for not liking "us" sometimes? Do you ever wonder why it is that the ang mo are just slightly more apprehensive when it comes to dealing with "us"? Think about it.

All I can say is that, "we" must always remember that "we" are the ones in the foreign land. "We" have (to a certain extent) "intruded" into someone elses country and if "we" continue to behave this way, it's not right. "We" will eventually be hated, if not already. It doesn't matter about how much money "we" bring into this country. It's just not right. I'm sure many ang mo out there have a problem with "us" even if they do not say it aloud. Can you imagine living in a society where most probably each person you see on the street has had a bad incident with an "asian" that it has somehow formed a grudge within them against "us"? It's seriously sad.

If you just open your eyes and open your ears, you'll come to learn of the true feelings of the ang mo and at the end of the day, it's so sad to conclude that, I really can't blame them. Shame on "us". *SiGh*!

EXAMS ARE OVER!!

OK. It's official. EXAMS ARE OVER! It's been a really long 3 weeks... 5 exams... I started from the first day... I ended on the last. It couldn't have been worst but I survived. Whether I did well or not, that's another matter. I hope that I pass. I really don't give a sh*t about the grades anymore... Just let me pass. I have a feeling that I might not have done too well in a couple of my papers which means that I MAY be back next year (but definitely still going back to Malaysia in April). Damn! I really hope not... *SiGh*!

I spent too much time this year sleeping. I once said that sleeping was a waste of time... Somehow this year, I think i've spent majority of my time sleeping. At the end of it all, it feels like I haven't accomplished too much. *SiGh*! It's been a horrible year... Struggled heaps... Coped with a lot of stuff... Had responsibilities that perhaps I just wasn't prepared for... It's been a rollercoaster ride but it's finished... for now anyway. Why?

Summer school starts on Monday, meaning that I only get a 2 day holiday. I was only notified today of my approval to take a 200-level course without the prerequisites. Hehe! Was just trying to luck and got rejected the first time... Persistance is the key I suppose. Yay! Hopefully if everything goes well, I can finish my degree before Christmas. God, I hope I pass... I'm sick of all this... Then again, life isn't too certain for me next year.

Since when did I become this girl? If you had asked me 10 years ago what I thought i'd be doing, what I would have achieved by now, it would definitely not have been this. Somewhere along the way, I lost the determination and the focus. I lost the drive to strive for the best. Where did that girl go to? Hmmm... I think i'll spend the summer soul searching... Hehe~ Find the real Mabel back. MuaHaHaHaHa~!! Don't know whether that's a good thing, ya? :P

Anyway, exams are over. I can at least be thankful for the weekend. Will be spending it... Hmmm... No idea what i'll be doing actually. Probably catching up with friends - those that I haven't seen for sometime, those that I have neglected this year, and those who are leaving for the year. It'll be nice... :) I'll be able to relax. I'm looking forward to it.

What do I have planned for this summer? Hmmm... Summer school... Clean my room - especially pack my study material for this past academic year away... Polish my car... Do some soul searching... Try to get my life back in order... Strip and paint my house... Maybe i'll even get to knock down a couple of walls. Hehe! It'll be good. Yeah... It'll be good. Most definitely, watch series!! Hehe!! :P

"We can't prevent what we can't predict"

- Desperate Housewives, Season 3, Episode 7

Yeah... Come to me baby! MuaHaHaHaHa~!! Oh... Hehe... Good luck to those still sitting exams... Keke... I know exactly how you feel! Sorry to rub it in your face ya? But i'm so happy! Hehe!! OK. Enough crap from me for now. Take care people! Enjoy your night! Enjoy your weekend! Enjoy every single day! Hehe!! Bye~!

Song for the day...

Song for the day... Always liked this song cuz it's so catchy... Which is why i'm getting annoyed cuz it's stuck in my head now! *fAiNt*! Anywayz, read the lyrics if you don't know the song... Very meaningful. :) Have a nice day people!!


Shout to the Lord

My Jesus, my Saviour
Lord there is none like You
All of my days, I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love
My Comfort, my Shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let ev'ry breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You

Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing
Power and Majesty, praise to the King
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You

My Jesus, my Saviour
Lord there is none like You
All of my days, I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love
My Comfort, my Shelter
The tower of refuge and strength
So, let ev'ry breath and all that I am
Let it never cease to worship You

Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing
Power and Majesty, praise to the King
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Cuz nothing compares to the promise I have, ohh

Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing
Power and Majesty, praise to the King
The mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have, no
Nothing compares to the promise I have, no
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You

Little little things...

I've actually got quite a lot to say. Just little little things though. Keke... Written in the most casual way possible. Haha!!

Firstly, don't kill me Arina! I'm sorry I missed the raya open house on Sunday! I know you read my blog from time to time... MuaHaHaHaHa~!! I was studying for my exam... I heard it was good though? Any photos? *Runs and hides*! :þ~

Secondly, I missed the fireworks on Sunday!! *cRiEs*!! OK. I expected to miss it but I can still complain about missing it! I was so sad that I kept looking at the clock to when it hit 9:30pm... then I heard *bOoM* *bOoM* *bOoM*, ran outside... to not be able to see anything! Ah! Why can't I live near the beach? Hehe... :( So did anyone take photos? Did anyone even go to the Guy Fawke's event? OMG! I'm guessing not... Stupid exams... GRR!!

Thirdly, hate you guys for not inviting me to play fireworks on Sunday night! Don't listen to the stupid person who told you I was busy... which I was but... it's fireworks!! It can never beat the fireworks display la... but... F-I-R-E-W-O-R-K-S! :( To whoever organised it, I hope you die!! It's just a 20c text!! Argh! (I'm kidding about the dying part btw! Hehe!)

Fourthly, had my 4th exam yesterday. Yay! 1 more to go... Just 1 more... Hang in there Mabel. Yes, I like to do this thing where I refer to myself in the third person. SO BITE ME! Hmph! Looking forward to Friday... Then i'll be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! What will I be? FREEEEEEEEEEE!! MuaHaHaHaHa~!!

Fifthly, saw a dead bird today near my letter box. It looked peaceful? Mum and I were trying to figure out how it died. I should have taken a photo of it... but I was too tired. Only had 1 1/2 hours of sleep last night. But seriously, don't know how it died. It was lying on its back, facing up - much like how a person is placed in a coffin. Hmmm... It couldn't have been a cat cuz there was no blood or anything... OMG! Was it the fireworks?! Our neighbours were playing with fireworks the whole night... Do you think they shot the bird by accident? Still doesn't explain how it landed so nicely on its back... Such a peaceful face... Hmmm... *Still thinking... still thinking... ah whatever!*

Sixthly, if you've been following my blog, you would have read about how my glasses were broken. Just received the newly made pair in the mail on Saturday from Malaysia. To my horror... can you guess? Take a guess... come on... OK i'll tell you... THEY WERE BROKEN IN THE MAIL! *cRiEs*! Seriously................................ Talk about bad luck. This whole year's been really shit eh?! Had such bad luck this year... Stupid 2006. Can't wait for the new year to kick in. HURRY UP!! 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 ... *DiNg* *DiNg* *DiNg*! WELCOME 2007!! *bOoM* *bOoM* *bOoM*! There's like... 54 days to go or something... Crap~

Seventhly, can't think of anything else but I wanna make it to tenthly. Hmmm... La di da? OooO... just realised how messy my room is, and how dusty it is. Will definitely have a big clean out during the summer. Too many clothes and stuff lying around everywhere. Can't fit anymore cabinets in my room. Oh dear... Maybe i'll just have to give them away? *Looks in shock horror... nOooOOOOoooOOOoooo!!* Hehe. A girl can never have too many clothes boys and girls... The faster you learn that, the easier your life will be. :)

Eighthly, November is the purple month. Why? Cuz I said so. Why? Cuz my calender says so? See! It's purple! :P I love my forever friends calender. I get one every year. Talking about that, I need to get one for next year? OooOOooOO?? Anyway, purple. Wear purple in November people!! Aiyah, whatever. Not like anyone's gonna listen to me anyway. Nice lamp. My forever friends genie lamp... I wish for..................... *PoOf*! Yes that's right, to disappear! :)



Ninethly, on a serious note... Saddam Hussein's been sentenced to death by hanging. What's with the death penalty? Is it right to take a person's life to punish them for taking another person's life? I don't know. It just leads to more killing. Who are we, to say who lives and dies? I'm quite against capital punishment. Then again, I suppose if someone close to me has been murdered, then i'd probably want to see the murderer executed as well? You think? I wonder whether i'd be so vindictive? Keeps you thinking eh... If he appeals the decision and loses, he must be executed within 30 days. Meaning, he'll die even before the new year? Wow! That's really fast... There's a conspiracy about how the judgment was purposely released before the US mid-term elections? Click here if you wanna read more about it.

Tenthly, (Yay! I reached tenthly! Hehe) if you've finished exams, congratulations! Enjoy the summer! Christchurch will be pretty deserted over the summer I believe, quite a few people are going home, or at least spending the summer somewhere else... So, just like to wish everyone a great summer. See you all when you get back! :)

That's all from me for now. Time to watch some series. Good night people! :þ~

Happy Guy Fawke's~!

This time last year, I was sitting my last exam for the year and the summer break was just beginning. Unfortunately i'm not so lucky this year - only finishing exams on the 10th of November. Unlucky. :(

For the first time in many years, i'm going to miss my annual outing to the fireworks display celebrating Guy Fawke's Day. :( I've always somehow managed to cram it into my schedule to watch the beautiful night sky being lit up by the magnificent display of fireworks, even if it meant me sitting in the car looking back to watch the marvellous display.

At every fireworks display, i'd always look out for the special love heart shaped one... and if or when I got to see it, it'd absolutely make my day. It's always been special. How I wish I could spend one whole day at the beach tomorrow, just waiting for the sun to set and the dark sky to set in... and just pick the perfect spot on the beach to anxiously wait for the fireworks to begin... I wish... *SiGh* There's always next year, right? Yeah... Can't wait.

To those of you in Christchurch who are able to attend the event, here are the details:

Venue: New Brighton Pier
Date: 5th November, 2006
Time: 9:30pm

If you have the opportunity, go... If I could, I would. Stupid exam on Monday. Grr!! Send me photos ya? Try to capture the one with the love heart! Hehe...

Alright, going to watch Grey's Anatomy before I sleep. Nitez~!

Happy Halloween~!

Definitely not a fan of the celebration. Personally find it annoying to have kids banging on the front door requesting for sweets, especially during exam time! But what the heck, happy halloween~! Ok. I'm like, an hour late... still, accept the wish! Bleh! :P

After the 2 most important exams, i'm dead tired. Only had 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night and now, i'm dead tired. Not happy about the outcome but, too late to change anything now right? Look forward. Haha. Yeah. Good one. Where will I be next year? Hmmm...

So my blog's been full of words these days... with no photographs (due to the fact that it's exams and I haven't been out except to Uni!!). So here...

This is what I look like at the time of posting - forcing a slight smile on my face. My eyes are red! The growth on my eye is still slightly there... *SiGh* I'm scarred for life! *cRiEs*! Room a bit messy. *PaiSeH* *PaiSeH*! Haha!! Oh well.

Haha! This is what I looked like last week when I was cramming for my exam! Stressed... Tired... Sleepy... Yes... That was me... and no, I couldn't smile then! It was in the wee hours of the morning...

But what I found most intriguing these past couple of weeks? This...

Taken on the 8th floor of Central Library. It appears on every floor, even the 11th. Pretty much, if you choose to climb out that window, you're choosing to die. Dude, it's 8 floors... I dunno... I think it'll do it~ Ok. I always tell people that I hope they die... but seriously, don't take it literally! Life is worth living... hmmm... yes it is...

Oh! Before I bid you all good night, if you're bored and you have time, watch "Flight of the Conchords". Funny sh*t! Seriously. Had a good laugh! Don't have time to place it on YouTube but i'm pretty sure you'll be able to find it there... or else give me a buzz and i'll send them over to you. Hehe! You'll love it. Trust me. :)

Now what series should I watch to fall asleep to? Did I mention how many series i've downloaded from the Uni hub? Hehe!! Life is good... ya?

--- Edited ---

My friend just directed me to this story again... and how much it relates to each and everyone of us. I think i've posted it before... but i'll post it again...

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes.

When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its colour and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital.

He died.

The mother was stunned. She was terrified how she was going to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.

QUESTIONS :

1. What were the five words?

2. What is the implication of this story?

ANSWER:

The husband just said "I am with you Darling". The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behaviour. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

Now... think about it. It applies to you too. Just take that single step and be free of your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears... and make this world a better place. :)